The following is a story of a friend receiving healing for their core identities (Function, Guardian, Emotion). It’s taken from the book I just released in collaboration with Diane Moyer.
“Liz” was a missionary with whom I (Matt) had prayed numerous times before. She had walked through deliverance, emotional healing in memories, healing for the human spirit, generational cleansing, healing and integration of fractured parts, and even more. She found great breakthrough in each of those areas. Still, she found herself struggling in close relationships.
She called me after she had just devastated her closest friend and ministry partner with deeply cutting words. She felt that she had done permanent damage to this person’s heart and their friendship. I had only recently begun ministering to Core Identities before she called, and we would need to do “first things last.” Ideally, her Core would have been healed and synchronized very early in her process, rather than after having worked on everything else.
I explained the Core Identities to her and asked her to try getting a sense of who her Guardian was. Her Guardian appeared in her imagination as a ninja who was hidden in the shadows. Liz could see only her eyes, that they were very cold and hard. There was a sense that she was carrying a sharp sword.
I bound and restrained the demonic from manipulating or controlling this Guardian, and Liz saw her eyes soften. When I got her permission to get rid of the demons and commanded them to go, Ms. Ninja softened up further, but she would still be unusually tough to work with. I asked her, “Would you share with us whatever is on your heart, anything you’d like us to know? You must be doing an important job for Liz. Would you like to share about that?”
Liz suddenly understood how her Guardian’s sword represented bitter and cutting words, how she was a master at using words to wound people. Her Guardian Identity had been the one behind wounding her closest friend recently. She had a history of hurting loved ones, including her children, and her words had been a key part in completely destroying those relationships.
Guardian answered my question about what job she performed for Liz: “I protect her. Without me, she’d be dead! Everyone takes advantage of her. Her heart is too loving, and she only sees the good in people. So many only take and take and take, and they drain her dry. That’s all they’re there for. I see right through their BS even when she doesn’t. She needs me to put a stop to that, or they would bury her!”
I tried to comfort her by saying that I wasn’t there to take her job away. Guardian immediately replied with a brashly toned, “Ha! I wouldn’t let you!”
I answered, “Well, Jesus isn’t here to take your job away.” I explained how the Lord created her to be a Guardian, how he was going to empower her to be a better Guardian, that he cared about Liz and didn’t want her to go unguarded.
Guardian replied back, “God hasn’t protected her worth a damn; I’ve had to do it all myself! She’s prayed to Jesus, done all that church stuff, and none of it did any good. She still got taken advantage of by the same kinds of people the whole time! They abused her, took everything from her, and would have killed her if it wasn’t for me protecting her!”
Liz had already told me her story about how she’d been molested as a young girl in church, had been raped, beaten, verbally and emotionally abused, and financially taken advantage of by various men and authority figures throughout her life. I shared with Guardian that I knew that she had been through some horrible things and had needed protection.
Guardian answered, “Where was Jesus? He didn’t do anything! He wasn’t being a father to her during any of that!”
I replied, “I bet he was a father to her in all the areas you let him be.” Trying not to be too harsh, I began to share about how the Lord gave her no shame, how she was only doing what she knew to do, using the tools that she knew how to use only for the sake of protecting Liz, but that the Lord had a better way if she would let him into her life, one that didn’t have so many destructive consequences to herself and her close relationships.
Guardian was now crying, “I’m in the way! I’m the one who has kept God out and who has destroyed her relationship with her children!” She really wanted to protect Liz, but her efforts had been counterproductive. I had been talking to her a bit earlier about letting Jesus reveal himself to her and minister to her, and she now wanted to give that a try. She was feeling horrible about how she had damaged Liz’s relationships, how her control had kept the Lord from helping her in so many situations. I prayed for Jesus to reveal himself to her.
As Jesus appeared before her, she began to cry and to exclaim things like, “He is so full of joy!” “He laughs so much!” “He is soo excited about me!” “His laugh is so loud and deep and full of life!” It was obvious that Jesus’ expression and relational style had melted her heart the moment she saw him.
Because I’ve seen some convincing deceptions until the eyes of “Jesus” were checked, I asked her to look in his eyes to make sure she saw love there (though this was already kinda obviously the real thing). She was immediately overwhelmed with joy at the amount of love for her that she could see in his eyes. She sang out from a place of deep emotion, “This is what I’ve needed all along! This is what Liz has needed all along! This has to be Jesus! You can’t fake that shit!” Guardian received Jesus as her Lord and Savior for the first time, let him heal her, and he did a transforming work in her very quickly.
Once Guardian seemed to be healed up, I asked her, “What about Emotion?” She told me that Emotion was a mess, that she had been drowning in pain and wanting to die, getting her head above the water for just a second here and there but falling right back into depression and turmoil.
“Can I talk to her?” I asked. As I questioned Emotion, I discovered that she already knew the Lord. I made sure it was the real Jesus by asking her how he treated her, if he was loving, if he was powerful, and if she could see his eyes. I had to make sure because so many parts and Core Identities think they know Jesus, but it turns out to be a mean, cold, or powerless religious spirit instead.
The Jesus of religion may look perfect in every way other than his eyes (which he often conceals), may be able to quote scripture or give hopeful promises, but will not be able to back up his words with freeing and healing power. I was glad to find out that Liz’s Emotion Identity knew the real, loving, and powerful Jesus.
As I asked Emotion to share what she was going through, and as I guided her through handing various problems over to the Lord, her condition was improving. If I remember correctly, there were major issues of shame and low self-esteem that Jesus needed to speak into and remove from her.
When it came time to address the multitude of deeper pains in her heart, she made a request. In the past, the Lord had shown her how he could simply take out her old battered and bruised heart, giving her a new perfect one in its place. She wanted this rather than a process of dealing with one emotional issue at a time. We asked him to do it. Jesus took out her old heart and put it in his chest while taking his own heart out and giving it to her, placing that one into her chest. He proclaimed over her, “All new!”
Emotion was doing great. Her pain, suicidal ideations, shame, and low self-esteem had all been removed.
Next, I asked about Function. Emotion said that Function was angry: “She’s been doing all the right things for so long, and none of it worked!” I responded by asking if I could talk to her.
Talking to Function, she turned out to be a “good Christian” rule-keeper who didn’t know Jesus personally. All her life she had tried so hard to do everything right. She tried to appease authority figures and to be who she was told to be, yet remained in all sorts of bondage. I tried to explain to her that it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just perform your way into God’s blessing. It takes the cross. It takes the free gift of grace.
“The whole system is bondage!” she began to realize, speaking about the performance pressures and requirements of her “Christian” upbringing. She had witnessed the way that the Lord healed the other two identities and was starting to understand how she never knew how to operate out of a relationship with God. “I suppose I need to get saved too?” she asked. (I had literally led Guardian in a “sinner’s prayer,” inviting Jesus into her heart during my conversation with her, and now Function was recognizing her need for the same thing.)
Jesus came to her upon our invitation, and she received him as Savior. He took away the anger and all the lies, the false belief systems she had lived under. He removed the performance, the self-righteousness, the spiritual pride, and other strongholds as they were identified and as she gave him permission.
I asked the three identities how they felt about each other and if they were up for being synchronized. Now that they had been healed, they had no trouble getting along and were glad to join as a team. This had never been possible before. With one good religious Christian identity, one tormented true believer, and one rebel ninja hiding in the shadows, these identities had not been very compatible up to this point. Liz saw them become like three close sisters, all huddled in a tight knit circle and sharing secrets.
Next, we looked for Original Self, an identity who often shows up after the previous three have been synchronized and who is closest to the human spirit. Liz saw her as an infant who was made out of translucent light, very pure. This part of her had stopped developing at about the womb stage when the others were separated and began playing the major roles in her life. Her Original Self only needed to be grown to maturity (instantly, as a miraculous work) and then synchronized in with the rest of the group.
After this, Liz found her close relationships greatly improving, especially with the ministry partner whom she had so severely wounded. From her perspective, it seemed like the other people just suddenly started loving her and treating her a lot better for no apparent reason. My guess is that, more likely, as she was healed and became easier to live with, the issues of those close to her weren’t triggered as often, and they were able to more consistently express the love they already had.
A Gospel Bigger Than We Thought (Included from earlier in the book)
“Salvation” in the New Testament is translated from the Greek word “sozo,” meaning healing, deliverance, and rescue. There are places “sozo” is used where it couldn’t possibly mean anything but immediate physical healing or immediate deliverance from oppression.
This “salvation” isn’t just something for the afterlife you get in a “sinner’s prayer,” but it is healing for every part of us. The “salvation” paid for on the cross is freedom from every oppression and every kind of corruption of sin. This applies to our spirits, to our souls, and to our bodies just the same.
This “so great a salvation” speaks of the transformation of every element of our being and lives. “Salvation” and “sanctification” are separated only in the dry halls of speculative theological study. In real life, they are the same experience. This is offered to us freely, now, by the grace of God. “Today is the day of sozo/salvation,” as Paul said.
We are all growing in this experience of salvation. On God’s side it has all been freely given to us, but on our side, we are all still receiving it at our own pace. We experience more as we bring more areas of ourselves to him and receive his “sozo,” his healing and rescue, in each of those areas.
I’ve tried many things in attempts to experience a more dynamic walk with God. What often results in the most progress has been opening up my brokenness, weaknesses, and areas of twisted character before the Lord, allowing him to work in those places. He is not looking for some grand effort or performance from us, but only for genuine access to our hearts. He just wants us to get real with him.
Religion has offered us shame and condemnation, constantly yet ineffectively trying to fix us, demanding that we change to appease a hard driving and perfectionistic image of God. The true God really does want to be let close to our brokenness, not to point a finger and tell us to fix it ourselves (which we can’t even do) but to accept us in that place unconditionally. He wants to reveal his love and heal us there.
The truth is that the gospel is so much more than we’ve been told. The message of the cross was never meant to be an introduction to the religion of Christianity. It was never intended to be about, “You’re saved by grace, but now you need to measure up.” We’ve come up with so many wacky theologies based upon a lack of spiritual experience. We’ve so often made God into a monster he never was and made our gospel into an inoculation against the real thing.
Healing isn’t something God does here and there in his spare time, but it is simply who he is. God is love, and love always heals. This never changes and never wavers. Jesus, the perfect representation of God, showed us exactly who the Father is when he spent his time going around healing all who would receive. His very name, “Yeshua,” means “Jehovah heals/delivers.”
The Book this excerpt is from, Divine Healing for Spirit, Soul, & Body, can be purchased here: